24 September, 2006

Cleveland Councilman Zachary Reed Bears Striking Resemblance To Digital Underground's Humpty Hump

The big difference, however, is that even Digital Underground's Shock-G knew that Humpty was a joke. The Councilman hasn't caught a clue yet.

I wonder when he will realize that whenever he shows up at the bars on West 6th Street, there will be someone there to videotape his every move. Just so that the media can prove him to be a liar.

The councilman said that he frequents the bars to mingle with his constituents. Even if you ignore the fact that his ward's western-most boundary is East 93rd Street, you cannot overlook the fact that whenever he sees a black female while on the prowl, ahem, while mingling, his face sours as if he has just gotten a whiff of his political career.

Poor, poor misguided Zack.

Maybe he should have to use the breathalizer before voting in City Council meetings also. I would hate for him to make a mistake on the behalf of the citizens of Ward 3. It's obviously important for him to represent them well and get a good sense of what they need since he visits W.6 so often to get a feel for them.

So, for Zack, here are the lyrics to My favorite Digital Underground song Humpty Dance

The Humpty Dance
Digital Underground

Aa'it stop whatcha doin' cause I'm about to ruin
the image and the style that ya used to.
I look funny, but yo I'm makin' money so listen up world I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather round, I'm the new fool in town
and my sound's laid down by tha Underground.
I drink up all the Hennessee ya got on ya shelf so just let me introduce myself.
My name is Humpty, pronounced with an umpty.
Oh ladies oh how I like to frumpty,
and to the rappers in the top ten, please allow me to bumpty.
I'm steppin' tall y'all and just like Humpty Dumpty you're gonna fall
when the stereos pump me.
I like to rhyme I like my beef funky. I'mspunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.
I'm sick with this. Straight gangsta mack. But sometimes I get ridiculous.
I eat up all tha crackers and tha licorace.
Hey yo fatgirl commere are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat, look at me I'm skinny.
It never stopped me from gettin' busy.
I'm a freak. I likethe girls with the boom.
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.
I'm crazy. Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in tha girls pants and I even got my own dance.

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do tha hump. Ohh do me baby.
Do theHumpty Hump. Ohh ohh do me baby. Do the Humpty Hump.
Do ya know whatwere doin'? Were doin' the Humpty Hump yall.
Watch me do the HumptyHump. Just keep on doin' tha Hump.

People say "yo, Humpty you're really funny lookin'"
That's aaiit 'cause my body's in motion.
You stare, you glare, you try to compare me, but ya can't get near me.
I'm on the floor, bein' at the bars and see all the ladies adore me.
Oh yes ladies I'm really bein' sincere 'cause in the 69 my Humpty nose will tickle your rear.
My nose is big. Uh uh I'm not ashamed, big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid.
I'm gettin' laid by the ladies, you know I'm in charge.
Note how I'm livin' and my nose is large.
I get stupid. I shoot an arrow like cupid. I use aword that don't mean nuttin' like loopded.
I sang in Dowhatchalike and if ya missed it,
I'm the one that said "just grab 'em in tha biskets".
I also told you that I like to bite well yeah, I guess that's obvious Ialso like to write.
All ya have ta do is give Humpty a chance and now I'm gonna do my dance.


Oh yeah, that's the breaks. Let me get a little of this base grooveright here.
A dooreaar dooreah dooreaar dooreah.
Ah yeah, now I told y'all a little about myself, lemme tell y'all a little about this dance.
It's real easy to do, check it out.
First I limp to tha sounds like my legs is broken,
shakin' and twitchen' kinda like I was smokin' crazywhack funky.
People say you look like MC Hammer on crack Humpty.
That's aaiit 'cause my body's in motion. It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion.
Anyone can play this game. It's my dance y'all Humpty Hump's my name.
No two people will do it the same, ya got itdown, when you appear to be in pain.
Humpin' funkin' jumpin' gig around shakin' your rump
and when a dude or chump ups and points a finger like a stump
you tell him to step off I'm doin' the hump.

Puerto Ricans do the Humpty Hump
Samoans do the Humpty Hump
Let's get stupid
gimme the music, do the Humpty Hump

And to all the ladies, peace and Humptiness forever.


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